I have big ambitions. Most of my projects are large with many moving parts. Whether it is a game engine for simulating tabletop games, or writing a novel or collection short stories, such enormous projects can feel overwhelming. I know I can only focus on the small pieces, one at a time. Sometimes, those little bits do not feel like much of an accomplishment. Today’s blog is a reminder to encourage continuously taking those small steps, even when you don’t feel like you have moved a bit.

I began Peggy many years ago. I had an early working prototype, but found making changes cumbersome. The UI did not feel right. I figured there must be a better way. So, I dismantled what I had and pondered on it some more.

Here I am, years later, not feeling like I have made much progress. Yes, I juggle Peggy with other project (especially my writing projects). Why do I feel like I am dragging my feet? When I do carve out moments to work on Peggy, am I doing enough? Th e questions build and self-doubt starts creeping in. Writers often encounter the Demon of Self-Doubt. Is this good enough? Why put myself through all this? Maybe I should scrap it all.

I reach a crossroads. Do I give in and give up? No! I fight that demon! I have invested too much thought into this. I believe in this project! I can’t give up!

Ok. If the project is so great, why procrastinate? What’s wrong? What’s holding me back? I get there are many project juggling balls in the air, but if I believe so much in my projects, why do I feel like I have made little progress?

All these thoughts and emotions have haunted my thoughts about Peggy…Until…

The other day, I worked on a small portion of the project, and realized its significance.

Peggy is a large project with many moving pieces. I have re-architected many pieces to improve the engine’s functionality. A recent decision involved a different way of storing and accessing game data. The other day, I wrote a small chunk of code as a prototype for accessing and manipulating such game data. It felt good to get what seems like a minor prototype working. I didn’t think much of it at the time. Later, as I checked in the code and updated my notes, I realized this snippet of code was not merely code practice. This bit of code was the golden ticket to opening up a huge portions of functionality. There is still much to be done, but this was a proof of concept of bigger and better things to come.

When working on such small segments, we do not always foresee these small changes leading to bigger breakthroughs. I started the day thinking I would just work on this sliver of code, not realizing it would be a catalyst for many more parts in the project. A hallway of doors threw themselves open, exposing all the possibilities!

Project Peggy consists of gobs and gobs of notes, detailing all the features I will one day implement (quicker, if anyone would like to help (hint, hint)). Before my bootcamp, commenting my code was hit or miss (okay…mostly miss). Post-bootcamp, I realize the importance of documenting code.

How many times have you worked on something, set it aside, and when you returned to it, you forgot some of the details why it is the way it is? I know I have done this. I have left code either undocumented or sparsely documented. Or, I have a scene in a story, but did not leave myself adequate notes about how and why the scene was crafted. That self-doubt returns, and I begin to doubt what I originally did. What was my reasoning? What is wrong?

This doubt leads to code changes or scene rewrites. It’s not until after I start making changes, I understand why I decided to make it the way it was. If only I had left myself a small note with my thoughts and reasoning, I would not have taken this unfortunate detour, and then retraced my steps.

Thousands of little thoughts charge through our big ol’ brains, and we are bound to overlook something. It may seem trivial, but leave yourself little notes explaining to your future self not to muck with something that does not need to be mucked with. Or, if you craft it one way and think there might be a better way, make a note of that, too. Let your future self know you have doubts, but have not yet thought of a solution. Future you might have more insight.

In the earlier versions of Peggy, my design decisions had been based on what I knew at the time. The more programming experience I gained over the years, the earlier I could have reached the design decision I mentioned above regarding handling of game data. Or, maybe if I had taken more time to research alternate methods, I could have reached that decision earlier.

Sometimes, the alternative is more complex. The reason I began developing Peggy was because I did not like how other tools handled simulating tabletop games. I did not want to use a set of tools requiring programming in Java, nor did I want to spend time tweaking all the fiddly rule scenarios. Based on the small amount of research I had done, I reached the conclusion I want an engine focused on the manipulation of game pieces, and leave the rule enforcement to the players. I left myself notes why I made these decisions.

Saying this, even when no progress is made on the construction of a project, the small moments we take to ponder, investigate, and explore various opportunities and possibilities can be equally important in the developmental process.

What are the take aways from this blog?

You can accomplish amazing things taking the time to build the right path one small step at a time.